|
|
Top :: General ::30 Something and Beyond::
(( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
benibabe
Date:
2008-07-02
Time: 18:34:57
|
Husband VS. Wife
Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical
good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following
rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at
what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from
you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table
unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and
card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't
you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?'
His new bride said:
'No, that's fine with me. Just understand
that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether
you're here or not.'
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
*********************************************
***
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on
the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As
Ever'!'
'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At
Last'!'
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are
having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you
are no
good in bed either,' and storms out of the
house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty
and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and
the irritated husband says, 'What took you so
long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'
'In bed this early, doing what?'
'Getting a second opinion!'
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
*****************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of
his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts
calling his
wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her
objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man
decides that it IS time to go home and wants
to find out if his wife is ready to leave as
well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion,
shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready,
Father of Four.'
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
*****************************************
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some
problems at home
and were giving each other the silent
treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day
he would need his wife
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece
of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He
left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to
discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his
wife hadn't wakened him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The
paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
*****************************************
God may have created man before woman,
but there
is always a rough draft before the
masterpiece.
**************
***************************
this is to all the smart women who need
a laugh
and to men you think can handle it.
|
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by benibabe ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
chris20
Status: Admin
Date:
2008-07-02
Time: 19:42:00
|
How sexist and untrue.
You're trying to portray women as intelligent
and witty Benibabe. What a mad idea.
Bit far fetched. 
Out there!  |
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by chris20 ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
benibabe
Date:
2008-07-03
Time: 22:47:21
|
1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They
irritate the [censored] out of you.
2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The
older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ........ Weather ......
Nothing can be done to change them..
4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You
need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars ....
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for
your hips.
6. Men are like ....... Commercials ......
You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like ........ Department Stores
..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds
..... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They
usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ....... Popcorn ...... They
satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ....... Snowstorms
............. You never know when they're
coming, how many inches you'll get or how
long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps .....
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots .....
All the good ones are taken, the rest are
handicapped.
Now send this to all the remarkable women you
know, as well as to any understanding good-
natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky
enough to know !!!!!!!!!!
BEHIND EVERY
SUCCESSFUL WOMAN
IS HERSELF
A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG
SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER
IN HOT WATER
I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN
ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW
TO COMBINE MARRIAGE
AND A CAREER
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN.
SOME THINGS ARE JUST
BETTER RICH
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN
And I HAVE A GUN
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE
AND I KNOW HOW
TO USE IT
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...
I DID IT RIGHT
THE FIRST TIME
DO NOT START WITH ME.
YOU WILL NOT WIN
ALL STRESSED OUT
AND NO ONE
TO CHOKE
And last but not least:
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED,
SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN
|
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by benibabe ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
benibabe
Date:
2008-07-05
Time: 00:57:06
|
CRAZY U NUTS U ONLY LOOKIN STICK SOMETHIN IN
ME IM STANDIN WITH MY BUM AGAINEST THE WALL
LOL............................. |
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by benibabe ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
benibabe
Date:
2008-07-05
Time: 01:03:15
|
CRAZY U STILL PUMPIN IT LOL.........
Perfect pump
The Perfect Pump will give you a larger
penis
to impress the ladies! Place your penis
inside the opening of the sleeve and use the
handle to create a vacuum. Watch your penis
get bigger and thicker! You soon need that
orange sleeve and, before you know it, the
black one too. Surprise your partner with
your highly developed ‘trained’ penis! For
you it will prove one of the most ecstatic
sensations of your life!
|
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by benibabe ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
classylassy
Date:
2008-07-08
Time: 13:28:10
|
well lesbiens dont need men but i think we do
need them one of the old sayings cant live
with them cant live without them lol but if
any woman doesnt need a man then try a WOMAN
give me a shout pmsl. |
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by classylassy ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
benibabe
Date:
2008-07-09
Time: 11:12:32
|
DEL DONT SEE U IN HERE THAT OFTEN IM SURE
THERES ALWAYS SOMETHIN OR SOMEONE U CAN LOL
@@@@@@ U MUST POP IN MORE OFTEN ......... |
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by benibabe ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
crazyman
Date:
2008-07-11
Time: 14:13:09
|
enough about jam rolls i still think you
women would be lost with out us who else you
goner bloody moan and [censored] about... |
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by crazyman ] [ View Profile ]
|
|
Re: (( MEN WHO NEEDS THEM )))) |
calvinjac
Date:
2008-07-12
Time: 16:18:34
|
WHEN GOD INVENTED ADAM HE SAID TO ADAM YOU
ARE LONELY FOR ONE LEG I SHALL INVENT A WOMAN
SHE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL SHE WILL HAVE THE
PERFECT BODY AND SHE WILL NEVER GET OLD SHE
WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS GIVE YOU SEX WHENEVER
YOU WANT AND SHE WILL COOK AND CLEAN FOR
YOU.
aDAM REPLIED NO WAY HOW WILL I WALK.OK SAID
GOD FOR AN ARM I SHALL INVENT A WOMEN SHE
WILL NOT BE SO BEAUTIFUL SHE WILL AGE BUT YOU
WILL ONLY GET SEX ONCE IN A WHILE AND
SOMETIMES COOK AND CLEAN FOR YOU.NO WAY SAID
ADAM HOW WILL I LIFT THINGS WITH ONLY ONE ARM
SO ADAM THOUGHT FOR A WHILE AND SAID TO GOD
WHAT DO I GET FOR A RIB---AH WELL AS YOU KNOW
THE REST IS HISTORY |
|
[ Reply ] [ View Threads by calvinjac ] [ View Profile ]
|
Reply to this thread
|
|
| |
- Home Page
- Forums