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Top :: General ::Jokes Forum (Clean!)::
Actual Accident Summaries |
johnd_lite
Date:
2008-04-09
Time: 12:51:42
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I've come across these before, but they're
absolute gems!
The following are actual statements found on
insurance forms where drivers attempted to
summarize the details of an accident in the
fewest words possible:
Coming home, I drove into wrong house and
collided with a tree I don't have.
I thought my window was down, but found it
was up when I put my head through it.
The other car collided with mine without
giving warning of its intentions.
I collided with a stationary car going the
other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my
wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to
swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road,
glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over
the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a
telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and
was on my way home. As I reached an
intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my
vision, and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell
asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end
trouble when my universal joint gave way
causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign
suddenly appeared in a place where no stop
sign had ever appeared before. I was unable
to stop in time to avoid the accident. To
avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front,
I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into
the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck
my car and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but
upon removing my hat found that I had a
fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it
to the other side of the curb when I struck
him.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was
attempting to swerve out of its way when it
struck the front end. I was thrown from the
car as it left the road. I was later found
in the ditch by some stray cows.
The indirect cause of the accident was a
little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to
run, so I ran over him. |
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Re: Actual Accident Summaries |
johnd_lite
Date:
2008-04-09
Time: 13:01:45
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they're great aren't they.
i found something else, a really great "memo"
to the united states, but i think it's too
big to post on here... perhaps i'll do it in
stages |
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