danielc92
Date:
2008-03-11
Time: 19:52:29
|
Im 16 just like every other apparent comedain
on this forum. Ummmmmmmm just wrote part of
my stand up and just need feedback and kinda
want some ideas on where to go next.
There’s a new sexual thing they found called
the G spot well when I say found I mean you
would probably need a map or a sat nav you
know turn left at Aids Avenue. You know at
times it reminds me of a much darker and
gloomier version of where’s Wally? Find
Wally’s best friends the three genital warts
dressed in scuba diving gear. Seriously what
ever guys knob can find the G spot must be
like a bendy straw I mean you have to go up
down left right I had to ask directions on
the way out. Another thing women do during
sex is to scream deeper to be fair if I went
anymore deeper I would be dangerously close
to puncturing there appendix. Has anyone else
also noticed sex is never fast enough for a
woman I mean I never knew I had to do Olympic
training I didn’t even warm up I would of
done a lap if I knew. I simply thought it
would be a case of in out in out you shake it
all about you squirt your load and you pull
it out that’s what its all about. Another
thing that bugs me is why the hell do we
always fancy the person who’s out of our
league I mean there’s thousands of other
average girls but we have to have her and she
is generally the one that has a 6ft 5
boyfriend who probably would make you
[censored] yourself if he clicked his fingers
and trust me odour le [censored] is not a
very good fragrance when trying to attract a
women. The drop dead gorgeous people of the
world have complete control of all others I
mean they could say for instance sit down
without thinking you would do it its like a
unseen force I mean if they said lay on the
ground and roll around (slight pause) in
[censored] we would do it without no
hesitation. I think we should let them have
there fun because these are the people in
later life that will work in McDonalds and
guess who’s ordering them about then. Me. I
expect that quite a lot of people here have
been to McDonalds many times but have you
ever took a look at there employees I mean
these are the people that got rejected from
pound land. Now I know that there are loads
of charity adverts for cancer and Aids but no
one has ever touched this subject so what I
thought I do is share a draft to you. This is
an appeal you either give money to those
spotty faced teenagers or they spit in your
chips and cum in your burger and if you
thought that was mayonnaise in your bun your
mistaken because it’s a bit too salty to be
mayonnaise. But anyway how would you feel if
you were burned by a deep fat fryer every day
of your life and mopping up some fat Childs
half digested happy meal hourly. So please
give money to the workers of McDonalds and
they promise to stop spreading aids by cuming
in your burger. That’s sure to be a winner
although a slight bit of advice would be if
you have ever had there coleslaw I would go
to see your GP because you may have
Gonorrhoea my friend. Also has anyone ever
thought the name condom is really boring no
wonder why no one is using them lets be
honest if they had a name like erection
protection not only would they sell more but
they could also have there own superhero TV
series. The one thing I don’t understand
about them is what’s with all the flavours
like strawberry and chewing gum I mean
seriously when has a vagina had the sense of
taste to be honest I don’t think they care
and even if you take it in the mouth when
have you ever tasted salty chewing gum and if
you have call me. But still they make new
flavours and at some stage we wont need any
meals we will just chew on a condom because
by then your probably have Sheppard pie
flavoured condoms. |
- Profiles
- Profiles